Saturday, March 17, 2012
Hey fans. I'm back. WOW! seven views, I am thoroughly impressed! I'm going to ask for those seven viewers to PLEASE leave a comment. We already have a few comments (a few by me), but I would enjoy some more, so keep those fingers racin'!
Starting my story from where I left off, I became the empowered tyrannical leader of my son's quiet, yet deadly, school-yard society group: the "Down Low Dik-diks". I wanted to be close to my son after the unspeakable incident, even though we had learned self-defense ("we" 'cause I learned with him). My son was strong, but his "bacon just wain't sizzlin' like it s'pose to". I was only a playground peasant at the moment, so I had to work my way up to get in with the cool crowd, 'cause I had some pretty great ideas.
I walked up to henrietta snufflepuff, and said, "Henri, yo gon' listen to me, girlfriend. Think about this, 'covering the entire playground in polyurethane plastics to keep our babies safe. The playground is a harmful environment, with bullies roaming the slides, and metal just WAITING to kill our childs. The time to take action is NOW, and I will not rest until our childs are safe!" And, and, Henrietta, she just looked at me, LOOKED AT ME, and I sat there smiling up at her like a retarded seal! I was so embarrassed, but I was a MAN, and I was going to let a little bully get in my way. So you know what I did? I high-fived her in the face with a chair, and I was banned from ever setting foot on school grounds again.
Starting my story from where I left off, I became the empowered tyrannical leader of my son's quiet, yet deadly, school-yard society group: the "Down Low Dik-diks". I wanted to be close to my son after the unspeakable incident, even though we had learned self-defense ("we" 'cause I learned with him). My son was strong, but his "bacon just wain't sizzlin' like it s'pose to". I was only a playground peasant at the moment, so I had to work my way up to get in with the cool crowd, 'cause I had some pretty great ideas.
I walked up to henrietta snufflepuff, and said, "Henri, yo gon' listen to me, girlfriend. Think about this, 'covering the entire playground in polyurethane plastics to keep our babies safe. The playground is a harmful environment, with bullies roaming the slides, and metal just WAITING to kill our childs. The time to take action is NOW, and I will not rest until our childs are safe!" And, and, Henrietta, she just looked at me, LOOKED AT ME, and I sat there smiling up at her like a retarded seal! I was so embarrassed, but I was a MAN, and I was going to let a little bully get in my way. So you know what I did? I high-fived her in the face with a chair, and I was banned from ever setting foot on school grounds again.
Friday, March 16, 2012
first impressions
Hey internet chumps, if you wanted a happy-go-lucky, humorous blog, then your you're not in the right place. This is going to be an intellectual blog, and you're gonna' like it. As you can plainly see, I'm using many abbreviations such as "gonna'". This is to raise my popularity status in teenagers. I am a graduate of Harvard, and a loving father of two teenagers. They are twins at the age of 17. So, homeys, I'm gonna' talk about my experiences as a father, and how it has changed me.
I remember when my little guys were just babies who flatulated all day. I remember changing Harold's diaper for the first time, and saying, "OH! It's a boy. . .". When he got into his first fight with a bully, I, like, "popped a socket", and I "blasted a gumphrey", and I was like "Nurns in the adenoids, ima get my gun!" I totally freakazoid, and had a fierce debate with the principal. When the principal refused to expel the boy, I signed my son up for Karate so he could learn the subtle art of self defense.
WELL! That's enough chit-chat for today, i have to check my numerous txts and e-mails!
I remember when my little guys were just babies who flatulated all day. I remember changing Harold's diaper for the first time, and saying, "OH! It's a boy. . .". When he got into his first fight with a bully, I, like, "popped a socket", and I "blasted a gumphrey", and I was like "Nurns in the adenoids, ima get my gun!" I totally freakazoid, and had a fierce debate with the principal. When the principal refused to expel the boy, I signed my son up for Karate so he could learn the subtle art of self defense.
WELL! That's enough chit-chat for today, i have to check my numerous txts and e-mails!
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